Innocence
by MoeFetish
Summary: Original story. Loser high school student wants to do it with an innocent girl who doesn't even know what a boner is! Stay tuned if you want to know how she finds out...Rated M for MUAHAHAHA.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: **contains an extremely perverted loser and a so-innocent-it-gets-really-annoying girl.

**Domo: **Whoever thought of this must have a dirty mind. *heh heh heh*

**Maki:** I wonder who...-coughcough-

**Domo:** *shock* Are you suggesting I am that person?

**Maki:** Maybe...;)

**Domo:** *sigh* TT_TT but you helped!

**Maki:** WHAT? ...oh yeah, that's right. NOOOO!

**Domo:** Bwahaha! I win! Okay...*sips tea* Shall we start?

**Maki:** sniffsniff...I hope you guys enjoy this story more than Domo enjoys my pain. ;A;

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**Keita's POV**

_Thud._

I opened my eyes in annoyance, and felt a sharp pain from my head to my shoulders to my butt. I looked around sleepily and realized that I had fallen out of bed.

Gee. That was a great way to start my day. I was having an awesome dream too. I dreamt about my angel, Ichigo~ She had such a cute innocent smile on her face and was feeding me some of her homemade chocolate-banana bread. _Mmmm...Ichigo's homemade chocolate-banana bread. I bet it would taste great. Though I wouldn't have minded if she had tasted MY banana instead..._

With a big smile on my face(it wasn't a perverted smile at all!), I slowly got up and stretched. I put on my glasses. Then I looked my cock...I mean, clock! My alarm clock!

_Oh shit._

It was 8:45am. School would start at nine o'clock. Dammit, I was late! And I had planned on waking up early today. Today was supposed to be a special day. It was the day I was going to attempt to ask Ichigo out on a date with me. I had already planned my (epic) entrance to the classroom, my speech, and even got tickets to the amusement park.

"KEIITAAAAAA"

Crap. And now I could hear my mom yelling.

"Why are you still in your room? I thought you left for school a long time ago! What kind of child are you?"

I groaned. My mom forced the door to my room open. "What? You're not even dressed? Hurry up? If you're late...I'll do unimaginable things to you!". She pointed a threatening finger and me and then stomped away.

I just had a very disturbing thought as my slightly(very) perverted mind interpreted the last sentence wrong. But then I remembered that I was late. I struggled into my school uniform, and down the stairs to the door, and started to put on my shoes.

Crap. I left my book bag in my room. I threw the shoe I was attempting to put on, and ran to my room, almost tripping on a carpet. Then I grabbed my bag. _Dammit, I forgot to do my math homework last night! Oh well...a date with Ichigo is more important anyways. If she says yes that is. Who wouldn't say "yes" to me?(A lot of girls.)_

I ran out my room and almost tripped on the carpet again! Why was it there anyways? I got my shoes on, and then ran out the door to school. Halfway down the block, I realized that I had forgot the amusement park tickets. How can you ask a girl out on a date if you don't present the tickets?

I ran back to my house, panting. I frantically searched my pocket for my keys. Right pants pocket...no keys. Left pants pocket...no keys. Jacket pockets...no keys! In a panic, I dug through my bag, filled with lots of crumpled papers and worn out textbooks. I threw some papers on the ground to make my searching easier. (One was a test paper, one that I never showed my mom because I don't like getting beat up. It's uncool.)

STILL NO KEYS. I pressed the doorbell about five times, until my mother opened the door. "Oh, my god! Keita, what do you need? Get your ass to school already!"

Ignoring her, I ran to my room. And this time I tripped on the carpet. "Fuck!" I cried, as I rubbed my chin. It better not turn red. If it turned red, then I wouldn't look good in front of Ichigo!

"Keita, don't you use those profane words!" my mother angrily yelled at me.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled as I reached my room. I grabbed the tickets from my table, and tried to look for my keys. _Hm...I think I put them next to my alarm clock._ I walked over to the alarm clock, and there the keys were! At least I didn't have to search for them that much again. i wave of relief hit me, but I wasn't relieved for long.

The clock now read 8:57am. "FUCKKKK!"

"WHAT DID I SAY?" I heard my mom scream, but it didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was getting to Ichigo's side...I mean, school!

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**Ichigo's POV **

_Chocolate banana bread~_

"I wanna take a bite!~ *hmphhh*"  
"Eh?~"

I was only on my bed with the pillow in my mouth, me sad now...me really wanted bread...  
"*sniff*"

The window looks so clear and shiny...I looked up and saw cotton candy, fwuffy and soft~ Mommy would never let me travel on a cloud, she says its too dangerous and that I would get a booboo~.

"Honey?, time to go to school and don't forget your book bag this time!"

Mommy is so nice, she always makes chocolate banana bread for me. That's why lunch is the most favorite time of the day for me~

"Mommy, can I bring a lollipop to school?~"

I grabbed my bag and I tripped over my books. It hurt but I didn't want to make mommy worry about me. My friends worry too much too, people think they are scary but they are so nice to me~ Sometimes I wish everyone would just get along with each other.

"Sure, but you have to promise to drink water after you finish it okay?"

Mommy always says that, I don't wanna drink water!~ What's the point? I puffed up my cheeks and just stuffed a piece of banana bread in my mouth.

"Watch it young lady, that's suppose to be your lunch and don't you dare make that face in front of me, and I don't want you to have cavities like those boys in your class."

Mommy always says that when I have to go to school. I don't even know any of the boys, my friends keep telling me they're bad people so I never seen one up close before. I heard that boys have dreams that make their bed wet. I wonder what that means, does it mean they pee in their dreams? I asked mommy before and she said I shouldn't even be near boys.

"Mommy, do boys pee when they sleep?"

Mommy suddenly stared at me like the time I asked when I could ride on a cloud. She never gave me a good answer.

"Well sweety, its because their weewee is never empty so they pee without having to wake up."

Mommy finally answered my question. So boys pee in their dreams? It all makes sense now~ I better tell my friends what I just learned. They would be so proud of me.

"Bye bye mommy, I'm going to school!~"

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**Thanks for reading! Both Maki and Domo are new on FFN, so any reviews would be lovely.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey you guys! We hope you enjoy the second part. This one is (hopefully) more epic.  


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Rin's POV**

I glanced at my watch. It was 8:57am. Just three more minutes and the homeroom teacher would arrive in the classroom. "Ichigo, hurry up!" I muttered under my breath.

On cue, Ichigo happily opened the door. "Good morning~!"

Akiakane, Nami, and I all greeted our friend. Like always, Ichigo started babbling on about some random things.

"Guess what I learned today?" she asked, beaming.

"What?"

"Mommy told me that boys pee when they sleep because their...uh...their weewees are never empty!"

I almost facepalmed. Ah, the innocence. This innocence should never be corrupted. Never ever. I would give a beating to whoever would even _try _to corrupt it.

The door opened, and the homeroom teacher, Takashi-sensei walked in. I wrinkled my nose when I saw him. His forever oily head forehead looked especially shiny today. He also looked like he had lost more hair. I would feel pity for him, but since he was such a strict party-pooper, I didn't. All the students shuffled to their correct seats as he walked to the podium.

As he started calling out the names(he could never remember anyone's name), I could see his yellow buckteeth. Seriously, did that guy even brush his teeth?

"Keita Otonashi?"

A silence.

"Keita Otonashi?"

Huh, that nerdy loser-looking guy wasn't here today. That was good, because I could have sworn that he always gives our Ichigo-chan these weird looks. I smiled and looked at my girls, Akiakane and Nami. They were both looking at me, and I guessed that they were thinking the same thing.

I leaned back in my chair until...

_BAM._

The door opened rather violently, and a certain Keita Otonashi weakly walked in huffing and puffing. He looked more gross that usual. Is it just me, or did all the guys look more gross today? Nah, it's not me. It's just them.

"Otonashi!" the teacher barked, flinging his role book at Keita. "You're tardy again!"

"Eek!"

The book had missed because Takashi-sensei had really bad aim. It nearly hit this girl and couple of yards away from Keita. "Sorry..." Keita mumbled, trudging to his seat.

"Don't just sit down! Compensate for being late!" Takashi-sensei growled. "Pick that up!" He pointed to the role book.

Keita slowly walked to the it, picked it up and gave it to Takashi-sensei before finally sitting in his seat. I actually felt sorry for him. That only lasted for a while though.

"YOU WANT TO _WHAT _WITH OUR ICHIGO?"

I was having a lot of trouble trying to restrain myself from choking this kid at this every moment. This kid, Keita, of all people, had decided to ask our Ichigo-Chan out. This was unacceptable. Not this creep. He would corrupt her pureness!

"!"

I could control myself, but apparently, someone couldn't. Nami had already put her hands around Keita's neck.

"N-n-nami-chan! Please stop that. You'll kill him~ And then you could go to jail!" Ichigo cried.

"It doesn't matter. I have to get this sloth away from you."

"But I don't want Nami-chan to go to jail~"

Sighing, Nami slowly released her grip on Keita. But she gave him the death glare as she did.

"I, I, I! I just wanted to take Ichigo to the amusement park!" Keita cried, waving the tickets in front of the four girls' faces.

Ichigo's eyes brightened. "The amusement park? Me LOVES the amusement park!"

"But Ichigo!" I tried to argue. "He's going to prey on you!"

"Ehhh? Prey? Keita-kun is going to eat me? But I don't taste good, nee~"

I sighed. "Ichigo, what I meant was...we can't trust him."

"Ehhhhh? Why not?"

Ichigo-chan is too pure, I can't tell her the real reason why we can't trust this creep. I have an idea...

"Hey Baka!, get your ass over here!"

That moron took about five minutes to walk over to me and I was only two feet away. He was shaking like a dog begging for mercy, I don't feel sorry for him one bit. He has to pass a test if he's desperate to take our Ichigo-chan out. I have a plan to make sure he will never get the chance.

"Oi, if you want to take her out, you have to pass a test."

He already looked like he was going to piss in his pants. "W-what test?"

I already thought up of something that is so ridiculous that it will never happen.

"Takashi-sensei has a model of his dream wig and I heard it's in his office. His key is in his suitcase where all his crap is and there is always the defense force guarding the second floor. You willing to take the test or are you going to run home to momma?"

Keita looked like he was really going to do it. That is a true baka who believes a story I just made up in thirty seconds. I pity his stupidity.

"I will do anything to go on a date with Ichigo!" He was pumping his fist in the air.

Nami was staring at him like she could murder him right in front of us. I know how she feels, I want to kick him right in the balls.

Nami was going on a rampage and I had to hold her back, even though I wanted to kick his ass too.

"You son of a bitch, you just said you wanted to take her to the amusement park, not go on an actual date!"

Akiakane was just standing there with Ichigo-chan with those blank unwavering eyes. I can never actually get what's inside her head.

"Akiakane, a little help here!"

She just glided over to Keita and just punched him in the face. I admit, that girl can actually punch if she wanted to. Her face suddenly had a denomic expression, this is the first I've seen her like this. She's usually so calm and sweet, she even stopped Nami from flailing with just a glare.

"If you want to go out with Ichigo-chan so badly then go ahead and hurry up...if not I can kill you right on the spot. You know how much I tried to ignore you when you stare at Ichigo-chan huh?, I hate your looks, I hate your guts, and I especially hate you!"

This was a scene I had to record on my cellphone. I took it out and kept it as a memento of the day Akiakane finally snapped. I guess Ichigo-chan was the trigger that finally got her true emotions out.

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**Keita's POV**

My face hurt. Dammit, why did that girl punch so damn hard? I swear, I thought she was on my side when she didn't make any moves to kill me. I guess I thought wrong. Girls.

I shook my head. _No, I must get their approval before I can finally go on a date with Ichigo. Ichigo~_ I skipped down the hallway, already thinking about what was going to happen on my date with Ichigo. _Maybe she's going to finally fall in love with me_.

Before I knew it, I was in front of the stairs. And I tripped. Up the stairs. I glanced around, hoping no one saw me. That was totally uncool and unmanly. _I have to shape up before the date with Ichigo. Date, date, date!_

I was almost to the second floor, when I remembered what that scary girl said. There was going to be a lot of security guards.

Oh crap, what should I do, what should I do? Think, think.

I know! I could pretend to be a teacher! I tossed off my sweater-vest, and threw it down the stairs. Then I adjusted my glasses and straightened my tie. Perfect. I couldn't see myself, but I was sure I looked perfect. But wait! I think I needed a finishing touch. So I licked my hand, and slicked my hair back. It didn't stay back for long. Oh well.

I stiffed up my body, and tried to walk up the stairs in a sophisticated manner, trying to act 'teacherly'. I cleared my throat and braced myself for any questions the security guards might ask.

But when I finally reached the top of the stairs, there were no security guards. Huh. Weird. I walked to the teacher's office and opened the door. There was no one there. Thank goodness. Hey, maybe this wasn't so hard after all! Maybe that scary woman actually liked me!

_Oooo...or maybe she's jealous of Ichigo because I asked her out instead? Hmmm. I know, I am pretty attractive._

Suddenly, someone walked into the room. It was Yamamoto-sensei, the chemistry teacher! "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

Dang, she sure was pretty for a teacher...I know a few guys who have a crush on her in my class. But Ichigo is definitely better than her! She's the only one for me!

"I'm asking you a question. Who's class are you in?"

"Uh, uh..." I stammered. "I ask just turning in some work to Takashi-sensei."

"Takashi-sensei is not here right now. Please leave."

"Um..but he asked me to! To-to-to put the work inside his suitcase! In case he forgets!"

Yamamoto-sensei raised a eyebrow at me, but didn't bother me anymore. Phew. I dodged that bullet. Boy, am I good.

I quickly went through Takashi-sensei's suitcase. I felt something weird. It felt like...horsehair. Or something. I pulled the mysterious object out to get a better look at it.

It was a wig. A black wig. A black wig with a lot of hair. I could barely contain my laughter. Ah, that poor guy. I bet he wishes he was young and full of hair like me. I rushed out of the teacher's room, and ran down the stairs. I saw my sweater-vest still on the staircase. I picked it up triumphantly. HA. I rule.

I walked back to where Ichigo and her group were. They were all surprised to see me.

"YOU!" the scary woman pointed at me. "What are you doing here? I thought we got rid of you!"

The killing woman spoke. "Maybe he has a death wish."

Terrified, I showed them the wig. "Butbutbutbut...I got it! I got the wig!"

A silence.

"WHAT? THE WIG ACTUALLY EXISTED?"

"W-what?"

"Dude, I just made that up just so you could fuck off!"

"But I did your test," I pointed out sheepishly. "Can I please take Ichigo out for a da-I mean, the amusement park now?"

The killing, scary, and punching women all looked at each other.

"Fine," the scary woman said. " But if you do something to Ichigo..."

"We'll punch the daylights out of you!" the killing woman finished, cracking her knuckles. I gulped.

"Well, then, have fun on Sunday~" the punching woman smiled creepily. "But not _that_ kind of fun!"

"Eh?" Ichigo tilted her head to the side. "There's another way to have fun? I thought having fun was just having fun~"

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**We'll give you cake if you review.** *grins evilly*


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